So far this year the boat that is the band has been pitching and rolling from one storm to the next, with me at the helm doggedly fighting to stop the whole thing from completely capsizing. First there was the cowardly walkout by half of the band, just when we had a gig to prepare; then the painfully slow process of trying to get Hugo and Nacho ready for the concert itself; followed by the impending departure of Germán and the desperate and largely fruitless search for a suitable, and ultimately any, replacement. While that search should be taking up most of my attention, other unnecessary distractions continue to arise.At 50 years old, Nacho is an overgrown schoolboy and - in that school-boyish way - obsessed with sex. Every conversation seems to present him with an opportunity to mention one of his numerous international girlfriends - Scots, Irish, Swiss, Danish, to name but a few - and to relate some lewd and inappropriate anecdote. Initially this seemed kind of amusing, but as time has worn on his obsession has become eye-rollingly tedious and somewhat irritating. To be honest, I have begun to think that it's largely a fantasy which exists only within Nacho's mind.
The current line-up of the band, now that Germán has departed, consists of five guys and one woman: Marisa. Since the band is an amateur/hobby project it is only natural that all of us have real lives and jobs beyond the group. Most of these jobs are pretty mundane: English teacher; Software designer; Interior designer; etc. Marisa, however, when she isn't singing backing vocals for Vinilo Sensation, works in the real word as a professional dancer and part time model. She is 30 years old and dances in costume at events and presentations and on stages in discos, as well as doing things like working on the Ferrari display stand at a recent car show. As you can imagine Marisa is very beautiful and athletic, which is perfect on stage as eye candy to distract the audience’s attention from all us tired old men at the back.
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And here is where the problem arises … Nacho just can't stop staring at Marisa's ass! To make matters even worse, Nacho has quite dark skin and very big eyes, which makes his lecherous gazing even more obvious. Marisa has shown herself so far to be a very strong willed person and a very pro-active asset to the vocal section of the band. And to be honest, since her job often involves dancing on stages wearing tight clothing in front of large groups of leering fans or even TV cameras, I don't think one more goggle-eyed pervert is going to bother Marisa very much. But it is beginning to irritate myself and some of the others. I've commented to Ariel on a number of occasions that I value Marisa and her musical contribution to the band a lot more than I do that of Nacho, and should Marisa mention that she feels in any way uncomfortable, I will be down on Nacho like a ton of bricks. But apart from that I've been largely letting the situation slide; my attention has been focused on so many other things recently. However, events last week have brought things to somewhat of a head. Last Friday, Nacho and I were the first to arrive for practice. We jammed together for a while, and then Ariel and Marisa turned up. With only two singers a trumpet and the drums, there wasn't a lot to do except continue setting up equipment and wait for the others to arrive. Very quickly, Nacho started into one of his dreadful anecdotes: something about a friend having sex with a dead prostitute on a beach in Africa! As the tale unfolded and it became easy to see where it was going, I quickly and loudly jumped in with something directly related to the songs we were practicing and playing. Unable to take the hint, when I paused for breath, Nacho leapt back in to continue his story. Fortunately at that moment the others began to arrive and any growing tension was dissipated away. This whole incident was shocking and took Nacho's sexual obsession to a whole new level, well beyond the annoying ass-staring. This kind of talk isn't appropriate in almost any social circumstances I can think of, and certainly not in front of a woman in a room full of guys. And so it falls to me to play headmaster to this 50 year old school boy at the next opportunity I can get him alone. This isn't something I should have to do in a group of grown-ups, and it’s certainly not a job I relish. |
